7 More Hours

The news continually amazes me.

Ever since going 24/7 on the all news channels, things have gotten quite, how shall I say, absurd. Why is this? I have become convinced that either those who decide on the programming of CNN, FOX or MSNBC either think that we, the viewer, are complete idiots and have no idea what important events are going on in the world or they care for nothing but keeping things "interesting" enough to boost their ratings. Of course I really believe that the answer is both A and B.

As I sit, forced to watch the big three (named above) for at least ten hours a day, I cannot comprehend why while their are hundreds of thousands of both horrible (think terrorism, starvation, war, recession) and wonderful (think great Obama appointees, The possibility of disease cures, countries working together as they never have before) things going on that are all very news worthy. So why in the name of all that is good and holy am I looking at a shrimp on a treadmill! Or some foolish putridly rich celebrity mauling a car with an umbrella over a year ago!

It makes my brain hurt so much I need to pour wine all over it every chance I get... I realize that they do need to make money, but is this the only way? Putting on "news" stories about Obama serving in a capitol building that slaves helped make? Ironic? Maybe, something that I need to have pumped into my head 52 times a day? No.

Now, some may be inclined to say, well these stories are used as levity between serious and depressing news. I could understand that, if it were true. But the fact is that these ”levity" stories make up the bulk of the programming, and that doesn't even begin to look at "news" sources like Headline News, oh horror of horrors!

Headline News (and I always say News with the up-tilted eyebrow and scorn in my voice) is the most insulting channel on the television. All these channels have their talking heads, my personal favorite being Anderson Cooper, just because he seems to get as disgusted with the news he is reporting as I do. But then there’s Headlines talking monsters and morons. And by monster I mean Nancy Grace. Words cannot describe the absolute disgust and and... I can't go on about her. Then there’s their reporters which seem to be people they found hanging around a college, which may or may not teach journalism, and asked if they would like to sit in front of a camera and smile while talking about the same inane drivel all day every day.... To much disgust to continue...

So why and I going on and on? I'm not sure, but I long for the days when the news was on at 6 and when something actually news worthy would come about, they would interrupt their regularly scheduled programming with what ever the goings on were. But I am a hypocrite as well, not only am I forced to watch the news I watch it on my own time as well. I think this election is what did me in, the constant sensationalism and tension. I became an addict.

Now I find myself itching to know what is going on in the world, I listen to NPR in the car and watch the news when at home and was an inch away from adding news alerts to my phone, but stopped myself short thank the lord....

So am I just lambasting the news for the sake of it or do I have a point? I think they just make me angry, besides I'm on hour 4 of 10 for tonight and I've already seen a giant squid, a squirrel on a skateboard, something about TiVo guilt, and something about the addictiveness of leg waxing.

Who needs a drink...?